Sniffer was pleased to learn that all this fog we've been having is on the outside, which cheered his mood immensely as it meant he was not going blind as he had previously suspected. He had been asked recently by an old friend to be his 'booze-buddy', which entails replying to texts and other messages of desperation from said friend during his dry evenings with replies of encouragement and congratulation. Although Sniffer's quite happy to do this, he can't entirely rid himself of the feeling that in doing so he's letting down another old friend, namely booze itself, which has been his (almost) lifelong companion, through good and bad, always there even when others weren't. After all alcohol has done for him, here he is, helping to take away one of its most stalwart and determined companions. Seems hardly fair. So, in an effort to make it up to a mate, he made sure he had a couple of extra ones when out last night, and one or two more when he got back home after the Punishment Battalion's curry session, where the conversation centred, as it generally does, on the subsequent fall-out.
Speaking of which reminds Sniffer of the topic for today's post. It has been reported that both barking Boris and dismal Dave are refusing to release their communications with Rebekah Brooks, the erstwhile ginger vampire of old Wapping Town. Could there be a connection here? The Bullingdon Boys as love rivals perhaps? Rumours of a menage-a-trois of almost bestial proportions have been circulating, accompanied by cries of 'oh God, no' at the revelations, with even seasoned hacks running from the room and out into the streets to avoid hearing more. Although Sniffer can neither confirm nor deny such stories, he is also struggling to put the images out of his head, with dismal Dave whimpering "why do I always have to go in the middle?" and barking Boris panting into his ear "this is just a taste of what I'm going to do to you in the leadership contest."
It could all be hearsay, of course, just as it's perfectly possible that the calls and emails currently being withheld by the leader and the leader-in-waiting are entirely irrelevant to the Leveson enquiry. I leave you to determine which story is the least plausible.
On another note, claims that James Murdoch is not in fact a real person, but merely an animated vessel for Rupert to slither into once his current decrepit form gives up the ghost could not be verified at time of going to press.
Mine's a large one.
'Sniffer'
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